Everything we do in this life involves choice, from the moment we start choosing what food we want to eat or clothes we wear, to the very last moments when we decide what to include in our will and what services we'd like when we're taking our last breaths. We have a choice in nearly everything, to a certain extent: the lifestyles we choose, the group of friends with whom we spend time, the schools where we attend, the significant others with whom we have a future to share. I've always believed in the concept of fate because I think there are situations that are out of our control, whether it be losing a loved one or when a natural disaster occurs that forces us to leave our beloved homes. However, I do believe we have the ability to decide how to live our lives.
Let's take academics, for starters. Parents, teachers, and guidance counselors all lecture us on how to achieve success: become a doctor, a lawyer, engineer, etc. But what is success? How can others define success when they perceive success differently than you or me? Growing up, I was always compared to my cousins and sister in terms of grades, extracurriculars, the talents I was supposed to have but never pursued. I was told by my parents to become a doctor, as if that's the sure path to success and fortune. For many years, I had to mold my way of thinking and trust that this was the right way to go, that once I hit college, I had to finish my Pre-Medical courses and take the MCATs to score high enough to go to a decent medical school. Well, that didn't turn out the way they expected! I've ditched the medical school path and decided that I wanted to pursue a different road and study public health.
Now onto relationships... We encounter so many individuals in our lifetime and we have the choice to spend time with certain individuals and steer clear from others. Maybe we want to rebel from our families and hang out in the wrong crowd to make a statement; maybe we are future-driven and are focusing on who will be our friends 10, 20, 50 years down the road. We definitely have a say in the paths we want to take in terms of friendships or romance. Maybe it's just my personal beliefs, but I think while parents and caretakers have opinions we should respect, there's a difference between respecting and politely declining and blindly obeying. I understand parents want what's best for us and don't want us hanging out in the wrong crowd and ending up involved in gangs or start abusing alcohol and drugs.
However, in other relationship affairs, I think there's a line that parents shouldn't cross when it comes to significant others. I know the saying that once you marry someone, you're marrying into the family, but you're not waking up to your in-laws' faces every morning, you're not going to be speaking to them every day to tell them how work was and something funny that happened to you, you're not going to be the ones running to your in-laws' side the moment they catch a cold to make them homemade chicken noodle soup, etc. I respect parents and potential in-laws to a certain extent--I believe their opinions are important but they shouldn't dictate how I live my life or who I should end up with. I strongly believe in working hard and proving your worth, even though you shouldn't need to prove your value to anyone but yourself. If you have a good head on your shoulders and you'll provide for and love your significant other, it should be sufficient.
I find that in this day and age, in our society, so many stimuli around us can influence the way we think we should behave or how we should act around others. Whether it be fads or keeping track of what is the "norm," we are like sponges in this world. We see on television the latest fashion trends, television shows that depict realistic situations of love affairs, drama, crime and fighting; I see too often people getting influenced by what's around them and feeling like they have to be someone else just to fit in, or feeling like they have to please some higher figure because they're the ones that raised them. Maybe I have these beliefs because of what I experienced in the past years of my life, and maybe you don't agree with me. That's okay, we can agree to disagree. I just want to share my views and bring to light another set of beliefs that may not have come to mind until now to my readers. You hold the power to choose your paths in life and make your own decisions because in the end, it's your life to live; don't conform to what you think other people want for you and end up regretting it years down the road.
